| (Dr. Hideko) Nicole releases her grip on Goblin. (Dr. Hideko) Nicole [to Dr. Hideko]: Heal goblin (Dr. Hideko) Goblin's severed arteries spill out pools of blood. (Dr. Hideko) You say, "Let me take a look at him." (Dr. Hideko) Dr. Hideko bends over Goblin with a sensor pad and gives him a quick examination. [Killnet]: Blood Loss (#94), just p-killed Goblin (#24160) at Doc's office (#1131) at Thu May 24 18:45:56 2001 EDT. (Dr. Hideko) Goblin's body twitches as the unfortunate soul expires. [lognet] Goblin has disconnected. (Dr. Hideko) You say, "Goblin looks fine to me." (Dr. Hideko) Nicole shouts, "Son of a fucking bitch." |
The bloodloss death occured JUST as the doctor began fixing them up. Damned that's hilarious timing. The odds of that happening are about one in two hundred. |
| [-] [16506]---From: Ivan at Fri May 25 5:30pm 2031--- [-] Subj: Here's my @comment on the human condition [-] KF is abusing power and doesn't give a shit [-] [-] I was in the bowling alley, KF walks in, I look at him and [-] it automatically knocks me out. I woke up, said "Fuckin [-] thanks" and KF told me it was my fault for looking at him. [-] I got annoyed with this because I was trying to play my [-] character and be stealthy and this fucked that up as [-] another character came in and had the same thing happen to [-] him and also looked at me. [-] [-] I called KF on it, using a few swearwords here and there, [-] he blamed me for looking at him still and told me to go [-] away, I said one more thing and he celled me. He still [-] thinks this is a perfectly okay thing to do.... [-] [-] There are a few problems with it. [-] [-] 1) If KF did this because he wanted people to focus on the [-] IC game, he should just have been invisible. [-] 2) This fucks up the IC game more than having a look [-] message of "OOC ENTITY, IGNORE" because it unhid me, made [-] me question it rather than going about the game after [-] simply reading a look message. [-] 3) KF was totally unwilling to discuss that there may be a [-] problem with it, he preferred to put me in a cell and not [-] let me play the game, which fucked up an IC deal that I [-] currently had going at the time. WHOOOHOO! [-] 4) Being put into a cell is not easing the flow of the IC [-] world. [-] 5) The only reason to do something like this is to [-] demonstrate the power that a god has over players. Ego [-] trip. (I really wish this MOO was more democratic!) [-] [-] I really think KF is abusing power here and shouldn't feel [-] that the lowly players are a burden just because he [-] doesn't get paid to work here. He can walk away ANY time. [-] I think KF needs some cooling off to let the monstrous [-] ego die down, maybe he should be put in a cell. [-] [-] If anyone wants a log of what happened, full actions and [-] conversation, I have a copy. [-] Moomail me or e-mail at idwelander@yahoo.com [-] [-] I know it doesn't seem like a big deal to yall, but it [-] ruined my RP for the day, and I think you need the heads [-] up. [-] Peace. [-] (Caution: long post. Sorry I might not be able to respond [-] to this much cuz I'll be on the road.) [-] ------- [-] BBS | <A>gain <B>ack <L>ist e<X>it new<G>roup <W>rite [-] Menu | <N>ext <P>ost <?>help <C>atchup <D>elete <M>ail [-] [16507]---From: Azrael at Fri May 25 5:52pm 2031--- [-] Subj: ... [-] That is the single most lame thing I've seen posted in the [-] last two years. [-] Lesson one: Don't ever, EVER insult the administration. [-] Lesson two: If you're going to do it, be clever. Don't [-] curse at them, and if they tell you to stop, don't [-] continue(unless of course you're stupid.) [-] ------- [-] BBS | <A>gain <B>ack <L>ist e<X>it new<G>roup <W>rite [-] Menu | <N>ext <P>ost <?>help <C>atchup <D>elete <M>ail [-] [16508]---From: Mark at Fri May 25 5:57pm 2031--- [-] Subj: KF has..... [-] Brought us bowling. Let us worship him. [-] ------- [-] BBS | <A>gain <B>ack <L>ist e<X>it new<G>roup <W>rite [-] Menu | <N>ext <P>ost <?>help <C>atchup <D>elete <M>ail [-] [16509]---From: Kingfox at Fri May 25 5:58pm 2031--- [-] Subj: Hi Ivan. [-] I'm sorry that I disrupted your RP. But you see, my [-] description's already done what I wanted it to do - you're [-] never going to look at me, an OOC entity, again. [-] [-] Let's get my side of the story, shall we? [-] [-] Here I am, trying to make some improvements to an active IC [-] area. Instead of shutting it down and revamping it while [-] cutting off players' money supply, I quickly dig the areas [-] and message them up nicely. I whip up some code, fit [-] everything into place, and as I'm finishing up the last [-] room/exit set, someone walks in. [-] [-] This person promptly looks at me, an OOC entity. The [-] person is SET OUT OF CHARACTER SO THEY CAN'T BE HURT and [-] falls unconscious for thirty seconds. I keep an eye on [-] them, and make sure that nothing bad happens to them, and [-] finish up the last exit set. [-] [-] So I'm happily whistling along, finishing the messages, [-] when the person starts ICly talking to me. They accuse my [-] of disrupting their RP, being a bigger jackass then the [-] last time they talked to me, and in general being an [-] uncivilized steaming fetid dog turd. Now, I'm not always [-] a nice guy. Sometimes I'm a rude motherfucker. Most of [-] you know this. But generally I treat people the way I [-] want to be treated, and if this player was following the [-] same logic, they wanted to be treated like a used old [-] tampon covered in maggots. [-] [-] After a few unkind comments, I asked the player to leave, [-] and expressed my sincere desire to finish my work in the [-] IC world so that I might return to the OOC world from [-] whence I came. The insults and negative comments were [-] unrelenting, even after multiple attempts on my part to [-] stop them. Now, if I'm insulting you and you ask me to [-] stop, I have to stop. Same thing goes both ways. It's in [-] the 'rules'. I know. I wrote them. So after a few times [-] of asking this patronizing belligerant person to stop, I [-] celled them. I suggested that they cool off a bit. [-] [-] Apparently, 'cool off a bit' means 'page often with more [-] nasty comments' in this person's language, since that's [-] exactly what they did. After they finally figured out the [-] cause and effect relationship between 'curse at KF' 'sit [-] in cell' and stopped paging me nonstop like a rabid [-] aborted hyena fetus, I let them out. They spent under ten [-] minutes in the cell. [-] [-] Lessons to be learned from this: [-] [-] CS is not a democracy. CS is for the players, and the [-] administrators. But CS is not a democracy. If CS were a [-] democracy, it'd be like LambdaMOO, and it'd suck. [-] Don't insult people after they've asked you to stop. Be [-] they admin, fellow players, and this goes for admin as [-] well. We all deserve an OOC break from each other. We're [-] supposed to kill each other ICly, not OOCly. [-] You bitched for a long time about the thirty seconds of RP [-] I ruined for you.... for much longer then thirty seconds. [-] And you sat in the cell for longer then 30 seconds. If [-] your RP was really what you were worried about, why waste [-] your time talking with an OOC entity when you could be [-] RPing? [-] Finally, attempting to tell off or curse the person with [-] the @toad button is suicide. I am a nice guy. You were [-] released without punishment for telling off an admin after [-] they asked you multiple times to stop. I've seen people [-] toaded for that. And I'm not talking about recently, I'm [-] talking about years ago when you started. You should have [-] taken notes back then. [-] [-] No, I don't get paid to put up with you insulting me. Yes, [-] I can leave. But I don't want to. You can, however, [-] SHUTTHEFUCKUP and SITTHEFUCKDOWN. Next time, please do [-] so. Thank you and good day. [-] [-] KF [-] ------- [-] BBS | <A>gain <B>ack <L>ist e<X>it new<G>roup <W>rite [-] Menu | <N>ext <P>ost <?>help <C>atchup <D>elete <M>ail [-] [16510]---From: Kingfox at Fri May 25 5:59pm 2031--- [-] Subj: Actually [-] Thanks Azrael. [-] [-] And it was Captain AHaB that coded up the entire bowling [-] game... I merely dug out the lanes and provided [-] messages/descs. He's the guy who did the sweet code on [-] it. Praise him, not me. [-] [-] KF [-] ------- [-] BBS | <A>gain <B>ack <L>ist e<X>it new<G>roup <W>rite [-] Menu | <N>ext <P>ost <?>help <C>atchup <D>elete <M>ail |
I'm such a horrible administrator. Good thing noone pays for getting abused by me. Good thing I have this outlet known as CyberSphere. |
| Date: Sat Jul 7 04:12:45 2001 EDT From: *blocked* (#23882) To: *Brainstorm (#2210) Subject: Idea: The Syndrome(#347) Here's a good one. Make it a random login quote. |
While it's a bit too long for a login quote, I still think it's damned hilarious. |
| Date: Fri Jul 6 10:52:22 2001 EDT From: Sharp (#24191) To: *Testers (#999) Subject: Comment: South Hitachi(#9837) not getting a single job a day sucks |
Yes. |
| Message 3440 on *Testers (#999): Date: Mon Jun 25 23:00:15 2001 EDT From: *blocked* (#24108) To: *Testers (#999) Subject: Comment: + Med Shield + West Side Clinic(#3907) (Forgetting to disconnect when going to bed is bad. Jesus Doughboy
comes for my soul at night.) |
DoughBoy claims to be sane, remember that. |
| [-] Now reading 'Meta'. [-] [16929]---From: CIAO at Mon Jun 25 7:29pm 2031--- [-] Subj: Well shit,..its been fun! [-] [-] Tuesday is my last day playing CS, out of 8 years... [-] many of you fuckers probably don't even care, because i [-] never had a character last long enough so you could kiss [-] my ass like you do all oldbies nowadays... [-] but some of you know who i'am and know the real [-] story...anyways, i'm moving, and won't have a computer, [-] nor the time to play CS, i might be back one day...and [-] when i do, you'd better be scared..hehe, just-kidding.... [-] so yeah, have fun.. and try to remember the cyberpunk [-] theme/history when dealing with big corps, we're not [-] supposed to be slaves to the big corps, we are supposed to [-] have wars and seriously kick their asses,...cybersphere is [-] a very dirty city, people should start RPing like dirty, [-] poor, ganger characters....damnyou! fight the power, start [-] yereself a gang (which needs -NO- wizzen help, so shut the [-] fuck up) and get some shit accomplished....something you [-] can write home about... [-] but most of all, remember the best RP mostly starts with [-] COMBAT, not sitting in the bar talking shit while poking [-] yer head out from behind Tiny and the disco ball talking [-] some mad BS....HAVE FUN, it's a GAME, if yer character [-] dies, OH WELL... thats the best part, being able to RP [-] something your never gunna be IRL, (ie. GANGER) for fuck [-] sakes... [-] [-] this is twist/marbles/(thereal) zero/billy-martin/seagram/bi [-] g-mike/kraig/bossmobsta/chad/ about 300+ more names i'm [-] not about to list....signing off.. [-] peace to Graye, Longshot, Gator, Lewski, Severian, Reason, [-] -=RANDOM=- (fucken rights, hippy crack),...peace to the [-] admin, for all the bullshit i did...being toaded 3 times [-] and all...but its all good...peace to zeek and simon, [-] peace to MR.-FUCKING- LEE, Dae_WOO, Maru, shit..all you [-] fuckers...peace to Mr-E,..hehe!..peace to every =KiNG= [-] that was ever thuggin', keep it alive and bug lewski to [-] recruit!...and peace to anyone who thought they deserved [-] it....its been fun...fuck! i almost forgot, PEACE TO [-] KENTARO, damnyou..kurohyou too, 'n' shit... [-] [-] ps = my character ATM is "Falco" if any of you give a [-] damn.... [-] ------- [-] BBS | <A>gain <B>ack <L>ist e<X>it new<G>roup <W>rite [-] Menu | <N>ext <P>ost <?>help <C>atchup <D>elete <M>ail |
The same person who I chewed out in the following post, making their goodbye message to CyberSphere. |
| [-] [16445]---From: Kingfox at Wed May 23 8:16pm 2031--- [-] Subj: What happened here? [-] The game grew up. [-] [-] You didn't. [-] [-] And I don't think Shadowrun is a 'juvenile perversion' of [-] Cyberpunk. I think Shadowrun is a fucking awesome [-] concept, an amazingly detailed and creative game world, [-] and a fun game. But CS is NOT Shadowrun. CS is NOT [-] fantasy meets cyberpunk... CS is post-apocalyptic [-] cyberpunk. Instead of elves, we have mutants. Instead of [-] dwarves, we have mutants. Instead of goblins, we have [-] MantLions. Instead of Red Dragons, we have Hideous Slimey [-] Abominations. Instead of trekking through Indian forests [-] hiding from shamans, we're walking through the wastes [-] avoiding Waste Yeti. [-] [-] You want realism? You want your realism so that a SMG [-] could blow up a sword person? [-] [-] Fine, take your realism. But you're fucking goddamn taking [-] 100% of it. [-] [-] Did your player eat anytime this week? No, then pass out, [-] you starving fucker. [-] Did your player drink this week? No, then dehydrate you [-] fucker. [-] Take a shit or piss this month? No, then how about some [-] cramps you constipated fucker. [-] You using your adren pump many times a day? How about a [-] heart attack or two from overstimulation you fucker. [-] Wielding a sword in non-stop combat for a half hour? [-] Here's some fatigue and exhaustion you fucker. [-] Just barely survived a fight with your life? It ain't [-] going to be so simple as logging off for half a day to get [-] healed. It ain't going to be so simple as `doc heal me. [-] Wait 10 mins. `doc heal me. Wait 10 mins. Try a couple [-] of weeks in the hospital if you want your fucking realism. [-] You want your realism? Most of the people in this game [-] have said something or done something that would get them [-] blackballed from the Syn and/or killed by a megacorp. [-] Advertised some Netwatch Jumpsuits, IO armor, or a Gunshin [-] Lykos sidearm on Wantads? Here's a fucking secteam [-] sitting outside your door waiting to pop a cap in your 'I [-] want my fucking realism' ass and kill you, with NO RP [-] beyond, 'FREEZE DIRTBAG!' [-] You gone mucking in the sewers lately to complete a Oracle [-] job or get a job from Ratlord? Take a shower or change [-] clothing after that? Then kiss off being let into the PD, [-] XS, BL90, Syn, or any decent establishment. Hell, I doubt [-] KP/J would even let you near them. [-] Speaking of which, I doubt KP/J would have as many jobs [-] available as they do, if you want realism so fucking badly. [-] You want your SMG for your motherfucking diehard realism? [-] Then when you start spraying SMG fire on the streets or in [-] most CS rooms, expect to hit a few random innocents. [-] Expect a few of those random innocents to survive, through [-] dermal or armor. Expect a few of those to have REALLY BIG [-] FUCKING GUNS AND KILL YOU FOR USING BURST FIRE IN A [-] CROWDED AREA YOU DUMBASS PIECE OF SHIT! [-] You want realism? Then there would be far more knives and [-] pistols, and far less swords and automatic weapons. And [-] far less money for people to have. Read 'help theme' [-] again. No, again. Read it. Take a remedial English [-] class if you need to. [-] You want realism? Then expect to get mugged by people [-] bigger than you on a regular basis just from walking the [-] streets. [-] You want realism? Then I think half of the playerbase [-] that's lived for more then a couple of years in New [-] Carthage would start to have to get cancer treatments. [-] Realism? Then you'ld actually die FASTER. Bullet to head, [-] you are dead. No RP. Sledgehammer to head, you're taking [-] a nap. [-] [-] CS is not 100% diehard realism. We try to find a balance [-] between realism, fun, playability, and challenge. If [-] we're not doing a good enough job for you, either come up [-] with some constructive criticism, or shut the fuck up. [-] You only make the situation worse, you whiners. [-] [-] If you have some good ideas to improve the balance of CS, [-] beyond 'I have been here eight years and no geek with a [-] sword can take me out if I have a SMG.' We're talking [-] something to go with... something beyond, 'we need more [-] gangs.' [-] [-] But the most you could do for the game? Stop posting to [-] Meta unless you have something constructive. I dare you. [-] Go out into the game, role play, start some shit. Pick an [-] IC fight with your OOC buttbuddy. Team up with someone [-] you don't like OOCly and.... not fuck them over unless you [-] have a damn good IC reason. Take down an IC asshole who's [-] liked OOCly. Stir up some shit. Grow a spine, a pair of [-] balls, develop a brain, and do something. There are [-] plenty of tools for RP out there, so why not shut your [-] cakehole and do it? [-] [-] KF [-] ------- [-] BBS | <A>gain <B>ack <L>ist e<X>it new<G>roup <W>rite [-] Menu | <N>ext <P>ost <?>help <C>atchup <D>elete <M>ail |
This was my response to someone asking for realism and darkness. They were insulted that someone with a SMG could get killed by a 'fantasy geek with a sword'. |
| Message 6105 on *Brainstorm (#2210): Date: Wed May 16 16:23:31 2001 EDT From: Al (#24191) To: *Brainstorm (#2210) Subject: Idea: Aerobic Workout Room (in Grimmy's Spa)(#19755) Bring back gangs. |
Who says that we don't read @idea or @bug? I read it religiously. |
| sonus says "could you at least code something that fixes my spelling as i type it in? i would like to RP a character that's not an idiot!" | Such a tool would be wonderful. |
| Date: Mon Feb 12 12:20:01 2001 EST From: daveanrose (#24025) To: *Brainstorm (#2210) Subject: Idea: Bancorp Financial Services(#484) add more stors and more jobs |
What a great idea! That'll fix the CS economy! |
| Date: Thu Feb 1 10:12:43 2001 EST From: Kingfox (#13581) To: *Crime (#5066) Subject: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH Subject: Character Request Hey. It's me, Jonas Lindgren, player of Blaine. Though it's gotten better, I haven't fully gotten over the CS-addiction yet. I know I haven't been an exemplary @toad, even returning briefly as another character and all, but I figure it wouldn't hurt to ask. Can I come back? I know that I was @toaded for a reason, but I'm sure that if I were given another chance I could prove myself as a Good Boy yet. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH KF |
Briefly returning? Blaine, while not returning as often as Izuri, Chewz,
or xu, has been quite the bad little @toad. I nearly peed myself laughing when I read this email. |
| [-] [14126]---From: Kingfox at Fri Nov 24 2:59am 2030--- [-] Subj: Dumbass fuckers [-] Hi. Welcome to math. [-] [-] Percentages. 100% is TOTAL. 50% is half of the sum total. [-] 100% of a pound is sixteen ounces. 50% of a pound is [-] eight ounces. Now, when we take 100% or 50% of half a [-] pound, we get eight or four ounces, respectively. What [-] does this have to do with your fucking ratings? [-] [-] THE REASON YOUR FUCKING NUMBERS CHANGE IS BECAUSE YOU'RE [-] NOT THE ONLY PERSON IN THE GAME. That's right. If BOB, [-] the top solo, spends a fuckload of points on agility and [-] pistol and such, and you spend ONE point on pistol, your [-] fucking solo percentage is going to go down because you're [-] now LOWER then Bob. You are LOWER then the top. The top, [-] the sum total god that is 100%, is higher then your lame [-] shitty pathetic wanna-be poser ass. That's why your [-] number drops despite your stat/skill boosting. [-] [-] Ever visit the CyberSphere website? Ever notice how the [-] TOP PEOPLE in each category are at 100%? Do you THINK [-] that's because they have some perfect combo of skills and [-] stats that set them at a certain mathematical point such [-] that they reach exactly 100%, never more, never less? Do [-] you honestly think that? No. Kingfox wrote it up such [-] that the TOP people in each category were 100%. You know, [-] the big event. 100%. Max. Top score. So your little [-] fucking '@ratings' are how you stack up against the TOP [-] person in each category. A quick visit to the CS website [-] that Incog made look oh so cool and wonderful and [-] beautiful, combined with four brain cells, should have [-] taught you this. [-] [-] Or, the summary: Snapple's right. Play the fucking game. [-] I made the @ratings verb because Mick was too IC for such [-] an OOC thing to be delivered. There are more people then [-] you in the game, so get out of your apartments and coffins [-] and interact, so you can stop hitting @rating every day [-] after your high point, when you cptrade, then log off. If [-] you're here to see big fat numbers in ANSI color, I can [-] recommend some good MUDS. [-] [-] Sorry, KF is a bitter man tonight, and is taking it out on [-] those who cannot make some subtle deductions using logic. [-] So sorry. [-] [-] KF [-] ------- [-] BBS | <A>gain <B>ack <L>ist e<X>it new<G>roup <W>rite [-] Menu | <N>ext <P>ost <?>help <C>atchup <D>elete <M>ail |
Sometimes Kingfox is a very very angry young bitter man. |
| Date: Mon Oct 23 23:22:59 2000 EDT From: *blocked* (#21430) To: *Brainstorm (#2210) Subject: Idea: Character Generation -- Advanced Path(#2009) in order to make the sphere more fun, and to bring game balance
to the IC world. i suggest that we take another step tward making ahabs
more like players. |
This is one of the finer pieces of satire and sarcasm I've seen on CyberSphere. |
| [-] [3964]---From: Sauron at Thu Oct 12 3:47am 2030--- [-] Subj: It's 4 am, and I have no coffee. [-] *Kingfox and Doughboy suddenly appear out of nowhere.* [-] Prepare for trouble! [-] What?! [-] To protect the Moo from twink infestation! [-] I'm lost...come take me home. [-] To denounce Moosex and hoarding! [-] I'm gonna find ya.....and I'm gonna kill ya [-] Kingfox! [-] LEAVE ME ALONE! [-] Team Wizbit, toad 'em at the speed of light! [-] IS THERE NO END TO THE NOISE?! [-] Choombah, that's right! [-] [-] [-] Tip for newbies, page Kingfox and tell him that Digimon is [-] better than Pokemon. [-] [-] Sauron. [-] ------- [-] BBS | <A>gain <B>ack <L>ist e<X>it new<G>roup <W>rite [-] Menu | <N>ext <P>ost <?>help <C>atchup <D>elete <M>ail |
Page me that Digimon is better than Pokemon and I'm ripping your head off and sucking out your soul. |
| *** OOC page from A.C located at Under the Cardboard Boxes *** [Once I used to be famous on this moo and now I'm just a bum. Isn't that sad?] [page] Kingfox [to A.C] That's known as life. *** OOC page from A.C located at Under the Cardboard Boxes *** [Can I have some coded support atleast? I just want my MSec building back and maybe unlimited funding for the pay terminal...] |
The fact that he was paging me from a cardboard box made it all the
more hilarious. I want to be famous again. Just give me a building and endless money. That's all. |
| Date: Fri Sep 29 10:57:48 2000 EDT From: Weed (#1111) To: *Testers (#999) Subject: Comment: Utopia(#2198) [CONNECTION NAME: 8dyn21.dh.casema.net] @comment ------------------------------------- |
Thank you Weed! We'll do that immediately! |
| [-] [1153]---From: Snapple at Tue Sep 26 2:15pm 2030--- [-] Subj: Corpse messages and odie messages [-] Okay, people, I started looking at these today and some of [-] them are TRULY terrible. [-] [-] Here's an example of what NOT to do for a corpse message: [-] [-] As you look down at XXXXX's corpse you notice while you are [-] stripping his clothes off that he is a handsome man. You [-] think to yourself, should I violate him? You ponder to [-] yourself what it would be like to ride/ram the corpse when [-] rigamortis sets in. You shake your head violently, as you [-] come to your sences, then you mutter under your breath [-] 'DAMN! I'M ONE SICK FUCK!'. You look around to see if [-] anyone noticed your actions, take in a deep breath and [-] forget about the whole incident. [-] [-] Now, while it has certain humorous elements, it's not [-] something that is very IC. -Anything- that dictates what [-] someone is doing is bad. But don't worry, far worse than [-] the corpse messages are some of the odie_msgs that I've [-] seen. [-] [-] Examples of what not to do: [-] [-] %T screams in terror as the shadows and shades of the souls [-] he sent to Hell come crawling from thier waiting places [-] and drag him off to meet his maker." (This isn't the movie [-] Ghost. Thanks.) [-] [-] %N explodes in a violent explosion, chunks of ichor and [-] splatches of blood fly everywhere... damn flesh wounds!" [-] (This one isn't so bad, other than the fact that there are [-] a variety of things that can kill you on CS, and very few [-] are going to make you explode.) [-] [-] %T falls unconscious hitting the ground hard. *THUD* With [-] his last dying breath you hear Bastard, I will not die [-] like this He staggers back to his feet, C'mon pal! Is that [-] the best you got? *THUD*, He collapses once again. I can [-] take it all and then some! He slowly rises to his knees, [-] Fuck you punk, I'll do it myself! You notice Him put a [-] pistol in his mouth and *BLAM*, his head opens wide [-] releasing a lifetime of blood and tears. G-night daddy. [-] (No, sorry, you fucking died. Maybe you just took a full [-] SMG burst to the head. You don't have time to make your [-] big speech. And where'd you pull that gun from? And if [-] you're going to kill yourself, why didn't you type 'kill [-] me'? This is an example of just one of many 'suicide' [-] deaths I've seen. Sorry, you died, and someone else killed [-] you. If you want to suicide, type 'kill me' before the [-] combat reaches that point.) [-] [-] You killed %t you fuck! (While I doubt this one is actually [-] meant to offend the killing party, it seems as if some OOC [-] entity is yelling at the killer for doing the killing. [-] Something more appropriate would be: %T %<mutters>, "You [-] fuck." before slumping to the ground, dead. Or something [-] of that nature.) [-] [-] Time seems to stop for a moment as %T stares at you. For a [-] good 10 seconds. Not doing anything, but standing there. [-] Then..without warning, she sllloowly leans in until she's [-] merely 3 inches away from your face, unblinking. She [-] stares at your forehead... and utters four simple, [-] distinct words. "My....GOD you're greasy." After which, [-] time resumes, and %T continues with her death as [-] scheduled. (Time stopping, time restarting, and a long [-] drawn out death. What, the rest of the world just stops to [-] watch while this person dies? Bob and Jim stop shooting at [-] each other to appreciate this moment? This is a case of a [-] death taking just too damn long. Take a chaingun burst to [-] the face and you aren't going to be standing there 10 [-] seconds before uttering your final words and then [-] collapsing.) [-] [-] [-] [-] There were others, and I could probably go on for quite a [-] while. There were also a large number of really good ones [-] too. I cleared a lot of the truly terrible ones, but by no [-] means did I clear all of them. I'm hoping that you'll all [-] take a look at your corpse and death messages and maybe [-] rewrite them to be a little more themely and IC. And to [-] all of you who have already done that, rock on. [-] [-] ------- [-] BBS | <A>gain <B>ack <L>ist e<X>it new<G>roup <W>rite [-] Menu | <N>ext <P>ost <?>help <C>atchup <D>elete <M>ail |
I still think that zeek and Doctor Octagon both had the best corpse messages. |
| Message 99 on *CS2 (#5711): Date: Wed Apr 8 19:08:11 1998 EDT From: Vertigo (#21032) To: *CS2 (#5711) Subject: Progress Can we get a timeline, or where we stand with everything?..as well
as what we -V. |
An oldie but goodie. Sure, CS2 never should have opened, because RH was opening before that. |
| Weed help theme help theme swirly shaved Weed is logged in from 63.75.49.120, port 27836. He is in excellent health. Weed is empty-handed. |
This has got to have been the funniest guest description I've seen. Feynman nearly busted himself apart laughing. |
Message 4684 on *Brainstorm (#2210): Date: Thu Aug 31 06:54:07 2000 EDT From: Chant (#23756) To: *Brainstorm (#2210) Subject: Idea: lucite sleeping coffin(#354) Hey, I've got an idea for a new weapon and a new company(s) to
deal with it. |
Sure, here's a corporation. Megacorps for everyone! |
| Message 240 on *Gamemasters (#2577): Date: Thu Aug 10 12:23:50 2000 EDT From: Incognito (#18254) To: *Gamemasters (#2577) Subject: Um... I'm not really sure what to think of this. [-] Main folder. I'm curious about the reward. --Incognito sends. |
I'm sure that people ICly looking to remove an IC implant from an IC
body will contact Incognito, an OOC entity. What kind of reward for IC information can you give an OOC entity? |
| Message 603 on *Requests (#22007): Date: Sun Jul 23 22:03:34 2000 EDT From: Rex (#23758) To: *Requests (#22007) Subject: Request: lucite sleeping coffin(#354) The name is Rex. I have seen the NCSP, and their ways. I would
like to start a real security patrol. A-NCSP... ANTI-NEW CARTHAGE SECURITY
PATROL. These new officers will not harm anyone except for NCSP. But
these officers will not cross the money wall to kill them (NCSP). They
will protect the westside and their citizens from the massive attacks
from the NCSP. These new officers will bring a bit more peace between
both sides. And the new officers will not get crazt super-human weapons.
They will be issued standard weapons. Only higher level of the officers
would be premitted to use them. And A-NCSP will not allow citizens of
westside to go eastside, without pass and a good reason. I believe this
will provide more and better RP. As well as a good way to keep peace.
Well a little anyways. I want this to work. I would like the CS council
to pass my request. |
Why yes, I'm sure that people will fund the A-NCSP as well as the NCSP. Sorry, there's no money in protecting the westside. Ask NCPK about that one. |
| Message 235 on *Gamemasters (#2577): Date: Mon Jul 31 03:48:35 2000 EDT From: Incognito (#18254) To: *Gamemasters (#2577) Subject: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *breathes*
--Incognito sends. |
I think this pretty much speaks for itself right there. |
| [-] [12404]---From: Dread at Sun Jul 23 12:53am 2030--- [-] Subj: ... [-] The NCSP Radio buzzes: "<200> [In English] 12:49:55 Car [-] theft in progress at MB2K. Available units investigate [-] when able. Suspects are described as American females; [-] average heigh., average build.". [-] - [-] ------- |
At some point at MB2K, I called the hotel room I was staying at from
Dinh's pad, and talked to my fellow Jersey boys. They said that Serena,
ix, Ymir, and the lot stole Roach's truck. A bit out of it, I logged on
and newted the lot of them, leaving them a connect message about stealing
cars. I posted something nasty about the theft to Meta. Dread's
response was priceless. It turns out that they just drove the two other Jersey boys home, since neither one of them was sober enough to drive. Whoopsie. |
| [-] [12356]---From: Calibre at Wed Jul 19 8:09pm 2030--- [-] Subj: Hmmm... [-] Well, just to see what all this stuff is about, I decided [-] to go check out the Sindome site. It's impressive, the [-] site, but the way the game seems to be is, well, [-] underdeveloped. I think it's that there is little to make [-] me want to say "Let me check this out", unlike CS, which [-] had stuff in it which I thought "God I'd like to pull this [-] off". Maybe it's because SD doesn't have the actual [-] history CS does. SD shouldn't be much of a concern, as it [-] seems that it's in an infant stage, and it seems at best [-] to be a "domed in" version of CS. Actually, I don't [-] understand how a domed city can exist like a hermit, [-] denying immigrants and such, but that's beside the point. [-] If SD is trying to steal coders from CS, then it's just a [-] testimate to it's desperation. It may be true that SD is [-] CS's closest rival, but if that's true then CS will [-] probably always be on top because of the fact that it's [-] been around longer, so probably more has been coded in, [-] like alot of major remaining cities in the world. This [-] _may_ change in the future, but as I see it right now, SD [-] seems roughly like a clone failure of CS. [-] ------- [-] BBS | <A>gain <B>ack <L>ist e<X>it new<G>roup <W>rite [-] Menu | <N>ext <P>ost <?>help <C>atchup <D>elete <M>ail |
I just love that line. A clone failure of CS. |
| Message 486 on *Testers (#999): Date: Tue Jul 11 00:49:37 2000 EDT From: Frank Sullivan (#23750) To: *Testers (#999) Subject: Bug: Character Generation -- Advanced Path(#2009) I was playing for the first time (Frank Sullivan) and while trying to learn how to interact with a female character, I kissed her. Krystal Meth then cut me open before I could figure out how to flee. I was wondering if the kiss ended my imunity because I didn't attack anybody. |
Newbie walks into Last Exit. Newbie starts attempting to sleep with Krystal. As Krystal acts more and more annoyed and disinterested, newbie continues to use various socials on her. Krystal starts warning him to stop kissing her, and slaps him. Newbie offers to pay her, and continues to kiss her. Krystal attacks, stops combat to let newbie flee, newbie bleeds to death. And all the newbie has gleaned from that is that kissing is an attack. |
| (Feruno) Leona drops a condom. (Feruno) Leona says, "Feruno, the oungans say maybe this will keep you alive another few days." |
*eyes the wasteland ahabs warily* |
| Date: Mon May 8 20:35:09 2000 EDT From: Incognito (#18254) To: *Gamemasters (#2577) Subject: *falls over* (Nga) Ezra arrives. I really just had to share that. --Incognito sends. |
I love the people who walk up to Nga, Aldus Weechin, and the other job
ahabs, then nod at them fivetimes, say yes five times, say yes to them
five times, then start repeating random words like job or mission. Really excellent role-playing there. Try going up to a person on the street and doing that to them. |
| Message 6684 on *Testers (#999): Date: Sun May 7 23:37:52 2000 EDT From: Abram (#23351) To: *Testers (#999) Subject: Bug: Character Generation -- Advanced Path(#2009) Someone will look at your history as soon as possible. We don't
want to make you wait an unreasonable amount of time, though. So, if
nobody has looked at your history by Sun May 14 23:36:41 2000 EDT, you'll
be allowed to proceed. |
Like the DoughBoy bug below. Read the message, then re-read the date header. |
| Message 532 on *Application (#1646): Date: Mon Apr 17 00:38:00 2000 EDT From: Weed (#1111) To: *Application (#1646) Subject: Adminapply: Restroom(#1717) [CONNECTION NAME: pm3-sav-099.internetni.com] I have a few years' experience in MOOs. |
Now, when you apply for a character it says you must be 16. When you
log on, it tells you that you need parental permission if you are a minor.
So no, being a 14 year old male doesn't count for anything. Meanest administrative commands? So what, you'll rekindle the wizwars of old, and bring back favoritism, cheating, and terror? Sure! Sign right here! |
|
[-] [9503]---From: Incognito at Fri Jan 7 4:00am 2030--- |
Of course, immediately after this was posted, half of the oldbies out
there immediately started screaming how they were older then that. The
excuses varied. Some claimed they were gone for a bit, reaped, and returned,
others had been toaded and returned, others had used the vacation system
and recycled their original character. I still refer to myself as a newbie. And compared to these people, I am - by a long shot. |
| [-] From: *BLOCKED* To: Kingfox Incognito [-] Sent on: Sun Dec 12 04:41:03 1999 EST [-] Subj: Stupid Desc Hall of Fame [-] ------------------------ [-] I would like to enter Kilan into the Stupid Desc Hall of [-] Fame competition. His desc is as follows: [-] Most noticeable is the glaring-white star-shaped scar [-] around his left eye. He has many other scars, but none as [-] ponounced as that one. [-] His body is relatively slim but seems to be going to fat [-] He has brown hair and eyes that seem to look THROUGH you [-] more than AT you. [-] A black oilcloth fedora that slightly covers his eyes. A [-] long black oilcloth coat hangs from his shoulders to his [-] ankles, protecting him from harsh wether. A pair of [-] slightly baggy black pants. [-] [-] Not only do we see the traditional thousand yard stare, but [-] we see a complete inability to write @worn messages. [-] ------------------------ [-] Mail | <E>rase, <S>ave, <A>gain, <F>orward, <B>ack, <X>it [-] Menu | <W>rite-user, send<M>ail |
Sad thing is, this description isn't that bad. I've seen much worse. There was one person who had eyes that sucked your soul in. So I had DoughBoy follow them, screaming about how much their eyes were hurting him. How poor DoughBoy felt that he was being sucked in by his eyes. It was a ton of fun. |
| [-] [158]---From: Network 23 at Tue Nov 9 3:32am 2029--- [-] Subj: Three megacorporations unite to form new AACU [-] Rising Storm Industries, GenSyn, and Gunshin Technologies [-] issued a joint press release hours ago, announcing a joint [-] effort. The field of autonomous armored combat units, a [-] speciality of RSI, has been stagnant for the past few [-] years according to many military strategists. [-] [-] 'Sure, you'ld think someone would take some AI barely [-] meeting Turing's specs and slap it into a mammoth [-] battlewagon capable of taking over most subcontinents. [-] But no, they often flummox out, throwing in substandard [-] AIs barely capable of playing tic-tac-toe!' commented [-] Jane's Weaponry Journal this past quarter. [-] [-] Part of the press release relayed Gunshin's contribution to [-] the project, namely the massive 'hellbore' cannons on the [-] unit. 'Gunshin Technologies has finally mastered [-] production of the hellbore cannon. For decades, this [-] weapon has existed only in science fiction novels. But [-] due to new advances in magnetic fields and portable energy [-] production, we are finally bringing this weapon into the [-] real world. A hellbore is a nasty device, capable of [-] taking out most field units. In field trials, a [-] stationary hellbore reduced a five hundred foot high wall [-] of concrete into slag in a matter of moments. While we [-] have not quite figured out how to tackle anything above [-] low earth orbit with a mobile hellbore, the stationary [-] hellbore is capable of projecting a payload a bit further.' [-] [-] GenSyn, typically dedicated to more biological projects, is [-] using some of its intelligence tests and procedures to [-] perfect the AI of the creation. 'RSI's drones and weapon [-] platforms, like those of many other groups, are severely [-] flawed and limited. They lack personality, emotion, and [-] true sentience. With GenSyn's help, these shortcomings [-] have been overcome.' read part of the news release. [-] [-] RSI's role in the triad was not made clear by the news [-] release. The RSI representitive in charge of the project, [-] Nat Helfinstine, has not returned calls. [-] [-] Some third parties are labelling this project as an 'unholy [-] alliance of biblical proportions'. When this AACU will be [-] tested, and more importantly where, remains unknown at [-] this time. Regardless, you can count on Network 23 to [-] bring the news to you first. [-] [-] For Network 23, this is Josh Silver reporting. [-] ------- [-] BBS | <A>gain <B>ack <L>ist e<X>it new<G>roup <W>rite [-] Menu | <N>ext <P>ost <?>help <C>atchup <D>elete <M>ail |
Now, after writing this up and posting it, do you know what the most
common page I got was? Can I get a hellbore? Sure. We're talking about a giant tank of plasma channelled at an opponent by using a magnetic field. Something that was just perfected, and can destroy just about anything within low earth orbit. That won't unbalance the game or anything. But Kingfox, why did you post about it if it isn't being released? I don't know, maybe as background material for the IC world? Maybe as a backdrop for an upcoming plot or alliance shift? I don't know, maybe for the hell of it? |
| *** OOC page from *blocked* located at Operating Room *** [Hey, what does a Mr.Studd implant do besides enlarge your penis...Anything?] |
You know, sometimes I can't type Find out ICly fast enough. |
| Namazu says, "Y'know, I don't really give a flying shit. Reap both of us. I'm so sick of your holier-than-thou attitude - MY GOD, you would think you're god-damned Stephen Hawking or something, the way you talk. Your egos are all out of control, as they always have been. This place was a nice place to come to relax after work, but it's become more of a hassle than it's worth. Real life is much more exciting - you should try it sometime. And this is Zeph you've been talking to, btw. Yeah, I hassle the programmers but only because they (you) have all got your heads up your asses and don't know how to act like humans. HELLO, GODS?! Bite my ass, assholes." | Background story - turns out two people were given the sanitarium
by Faust. Just plain old given. And what were they doing with it? Living
there. Only problem was, some old GE code dumped people into the locked
room sometimes. The locked room, of course, they used as an apartment. So these people would get randomly killed by newbies, and complain. We looked into it, and saw they had their own free building without IC reason. During the conversation... let's just say that one of my former co-bits got a little nasty, and Namazu just went off. It was sad, yet entertaining considering who he was yelling at. |
| A large silver plaque, set into the outer wall of the Syndrome.
Faint bloodstains can be seen splattered across the base of it. +--------------------------------------+ | This memorial plaque is dedicated | | to the fair citizens of New | | Carthage who were murdered on this | | pavement. | | Gunshin Technologies, as part of | | the court settlement `New Carthage | | vs. Gunshin Technologies', has | | sponsored this reminder that life | | is important. | | To date, at least 1000 citizens | | have been killed at this spot, the | | most recent victim was duck named | | "Donald". | +--------------------------------------+ |
To quote Tanaka: Only on CS.
I was wondering who would get 1000. |
| Message 3679 on *Testers (#999): Date: Wed Aug 4 10:25:30 1999 EDT From: *BLOCKED* To: *Testers (#999) Subject: Bug: Normal Street side 2(#3613) attach dough's head |
First time I read this, I honestly thought the problem was in the code.
Second time I read this, I nearly died laughing. |
| From GhostWheel
Message 28 on *Humor (#18591): Kingfox broadcasts a message via the Municipal Psi-Net: "JUST YOU
AND ME, DREAD!!!" |
Ok, it was around five or six in the morning EST, I was bored, he was
there, so sue me.
He appreciates Fear Factory at least. Most players don't like it when I scream angry lyrics at them. Sad thing is, when I saw this post I realized I missed a few ahabs. |
| Message 37 on *RPG-Programming-Issues (#87): Date: Thu Feb 6 15:03:36 1997 EST From: Gregory (#17983) To: *RPG-Programming-Issues (#87) Subject: Oh well. Guess I should take more time to post on here.. --G |
When I was first bitted, I saw this post. Nearly died laughing.
If RH opened as it was scheduled to, I'd have never been on CS.
I don't think Gregory appreciated me laughing at this post. Looking back, I was a jerk. |
| [-] [6455]---From: Kingfox at Tue Jul 13 9:42pm 2029--- [-] Subj: The unseen millions [-] Good point. I find it downright insulting that a certain [-] former NCSP officer who shall remain a nameless twink [-] (fired months and months ago, don't worry) started [-] screaming about how it was unfair that a news story was [-] written about him killing Valerie the refugee ahab. Since [-] 'noone' saw him do it, and he was just 'sparring', it [-] should have been ok. BULL FUCKING SHIT. Sometimes, I [-] think players should stop hitting who every few seconds, [-] and start hitting look. Read the damned street [-] descriptions Incog wrote up. Factory workers going off to [-] work, zoners milling about the streets. YOU TWO HUNDRED [-] PEOPLE DO NOT MAKE UP NEW CARTHAGE. If Club XS depended [-] on player drinks to stay afloat, it would have been [-] boarded up months ago. If corps only employed players, [-] then Gunshin would have packed up and left. You people [-] represent a sliver, a fragment, the most interested [-] members of the populace. Not the entirity of it. To [-] assume that you could find a killer based on them having [-] an implant is stupid. [-] Furthermore, the idea that you can walk around killing [-] Cromags and refugees all day like you're trapped in a bad [-] graphicsless and soundless (unless you use PiMP!) version [-] of Quake is also pretty friggin' stupid. I watch the [-] death toll. Hmm. Person wandering down Pullman. Bo35 [-] dies. Mick23 dies. Bill dies. Ho hum. Yeah, excuse me, [-] I'd like to see someone walking down the streets of a [-] city, post apocalyptic or not, and start killing people [-] like it's a shooting gallery. THIS IS NOT A MUD. MICK12 [-] AND MARLY ARE NOT ORCS. This is a ROLE playing game, not [-] a hack and slash adventure. Thank you for your time. [-] [-] Kingfox [-] ------- [-] BBS | <A>gain <B>ack <L>ist e<X>it new<G>roup <W>rite [-] Menu | <N>ext <P>ost <?>help <C>atchup <D>elete <M>ail |
What struck me as funny are all the pages that I got following
this post:
Things like, "Yeah, Orcs have decent loot on them!" or "Ewww, otherwise I would have slept with an orc!" or "Yeah, hack and slash games have more swords and more gold pieces. I want gold pieces." |